The Calgarth Hall Skulls
Windermere, Lake District 1700s
‘…that teenie lump o’ land is t’dearest grund a Philipson has ever bowte. For ye shall prosper niver maur, yersel, nor yan o’t breed. And while Calgarth’s strong woes shall stand, we’ll haunt it day and neet.’
We’ve written about the Screaming Skull of Wardley Hall previously, and I think it’s about time we talk about more mischievous skulls. There does seem to be a common theme of skulls returning after experiencing injustice and I think the lesson to be learnt from these ‘screaming skull’ type folklore stories is to just be a nice person and don’t wrongly execute anyone. If you ignore this advice, and end up wrongly executing someone, I think you’re asking to be cursed for eternity by talkative bones.
These persistent skulls are from the heads of Dorothy and Kraster Cook, two honest working people residing in a farmland cottage property in Windemere in the late 16th Century. Never bothering anyone and happy to live within their means, the Cooks had a home for life... or so they thought.
Myles Phillipson would come to be their downfall. Local magistrate with a reputation for being a Not Nice Man, Phillipson already owned a rather large estate... but this wasn’t enough for him - he wanted the land that the Cooks lived on. He tried to buy the land off the Cooks, offering them probably a very decent amount, but it isn’t about money for some - the Cooks enjoyed the farm life they’d built up and they weren’t about to let a man, with already too much, gain a little more.
Refusing his offer, Phillipson conjured up another plan to get the Cooks off ‘his’ land. Clearly these honest folk were not going to be won over by cash, nor would they be very responsive to bullying, so Phillipson conjured up all the niceties he could fake (I’m sure it was very taxing for him) and invited the couple over to his estate.
Just a spot of dinner to apologise for the insistence, nothing untoward at all. The evening went well and the Cooks believed their troubles to be over... until the next morning when they were awoken by a barrage of soldiers demanding to search their property. Very appropriately confused, the Cooks asked what the problem was - a silver goblet belonging to Phillipson was then lifted from Dorothy’s bag.
How on earth could such a thing have found its way into Dorothy’s bag?! She must have stolen it! Stolen it right under Phillipson’s nose, just when he was showing his best hospitality and kindness! How dare they, take them to trial! Justice will be served!
It was totally not because Phillipson had planted it in her bag the night before...
Did I mention that Phillipson was a magistrate? Oh yes, I did mention that. Phillipson was the one overseeing the trial, because of course he was. The Cooks were found guilty (surprise, surprise) and as compensation for the horrific trauma he endured, Phillipson was gifted their land.
“Guard thyself, Myles Phillipson! Thou thinkest thou hast managed grandly; but that tiny lump of land is the dearest a Phillipson has ever bought or stolen; for you will never prosper, neither your breed; whatever scheme you undertake will wither in your hand; the side you take will always lose ; the time shall come no Phillipson will own an inch of land; and while Calgarth walls shall stand, we ‘ll haunt it night and day never will ye be rid of us!”
The Cooks cursed him there and then, in front of the entire courtroom (good for them!). Phillipson did not give a hoot, and one year later Calgarth Hall was built and him and his family moved in. But wait, what are these two skulls at the bottom of the stairs? A weird piece of decor? ‘Ugly, get rid of them, servants!’ is what I’m sure Phillipson said as he directed the skulls to be removed. After being kept awake all night from what seemed like distant screaming, the Phillipson’s arose in the morning to find the skulls right back at the base of the stairs.
The family tried to crush, burn and bury the skulls, anything to relinquish the screaming, but nothing worked. They tried to throw the skulls in the nearby lake, but they returned to the base of the stairs once more. Nothing would rid the family of this boney curse!
The Cooks’ curse ruined the reputation of the Phillipson family. No longer would grand parties be held at Calgarth Hall, residents of the local area grew wise to the curse and refused to be exposed to it. The family became recluses and Myles eventually bequeathed the hall to his son... who also did not want to be part of the screaming skull saga.
Do we think that Myles Phillipson learned his lesson? Did he heck! There is supposedly another tale (that I may delve into at a later date) that involves the very same Myles Phillipson stealing a hand from deceased priest Father Arrowsmith, then using the holy hand to momentarily restore life to a dead man.
The reason for this miracle of life? To make the dead man change his will in Phillipson’s favour... What a bastard! He got a second helping of spiritual comeuppance, as the heirs to the deceased man decided to curse Phillipson for his actions, some people truly never learn.
Sources
https://www.mysteriousbritain.co.uk/hauntings/calgarth-hall/
https://fairweatherlewis.wordpress.com/2011/01/22/the-calgarth-skulls/
https://www.lakelandwalkingtales.co.uk/tag/the-skulls-of-calgarth/
https://esmeraldamac.wordpress.com/2011/07/18/mind-yer-head/
Mrs Brunskill, quoted in Legends of the Lake Counties by Gerald Findler (1967)
