Edinburgh, Scotland 1670

“Let me alone, I will not. I have lived as a beast, and I must die as a beast.”

I fear that the title ‘Wizard of West Bow’ is too complimentary a title for the protagonist of this tale. If I was given the title of Wizard, I would be most honoured, but I have been a kind soul thus far (I hope?!) and so I’d feel it was deserving. Major Thomas Weir seemingly was a perfect man, religious, caring, a pillar for his community. Until one day, as he hit seventy years of age, he stood up in church and made a confession so shocking that his death was immediately ordered…

Born in Clydeside, Lancashire in 1599, Thomas moved up to Edinburgh in 1649 and settled in West Bow with his sister Jean. We know this area now as Victoria Street, but back on ye olde times, West Bow meandered steeply (as most streets in Edinburgh) up from the Grassmarket to Lawnmarket. Some of Edinburgh’s most religious of citizens occupied West Bow, coining the collective term The Bowhead Saints. Thomas was described as a rather striking figure in appearance, ‘tall, dark, with a grim face and a large nose’. He would often be seen carrying a black staff with a carving of a head on top.

Not unusual for the residents of West Bow, but Thomas would often take his preaching out onto the streets, speaking with such passion that he would often end up getting himself into a right tizz. Which is ironic, when you hear the rest of the story…

One fateful day in church, as Thomas hit seventy years old, everyone’s high opinion of Weir would suddenly shatter as he began proclaiming the most heinous deeds. A confession, of the worst, most despicable acts committed. I imagine a lot of pearls were firmly clutched that day. He admitted that for the majority of his life, he had partaken in an incestuous relationship with his sister, Jean, and had committed fornication with a plethora of other women. He then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, confessed to acts of bestiality with a cow and a mare.

He seemingly could not stop talking. He admitted to partaking in Witchcraft, not usual for men but still very illegal. A lot of the congregation quickly began to make excuses for Thomas, this clearly was a mistake… he’s seventy years old, his brain isn’t young anymore! He’s lost grip on reality! But this was quickly squashed by Jean, the sister is question, corroborating Thomas’ story. With spite on her tongue, Jean seemed to go into further depth, claiming that the relationship had begun when she was ten years old, and only finished a few years ago because Weir was no longer attracted to her. She also really doubled down on the pair’s wrongdoings, claiming that she had met with The Queene of Fairie and the Devil to commit heinous sexual acts.

The tales only got more ludicrous, supposedly the pair had taken a ride on the Devil’s coach, pulled by six horses… all on fire. They all visited Musselburgh, where the Devil told them the outcome of a battle a week before it became common knowledge in Edinburgh.

Edinburgh’s Provost, Lord Abbotshall, wished to avoid involving the courts, and instead insisted a doctor come to examine Weir to determine his mental state. The doctors, not falling for it, decided the only ailment Weir was experiencing was a wicked guilty conscience, with Thomas even stating that he’d like to be fully punished for his wrongdoings. Which, of course, no court could argue with.

The previously mentioned staff, the one with the carved head, was supposedly gifted to Thomas by the Devil on one of their many excursions. Jean told the jailors that under no circumstance should Thomas be allowed his staff as “…if he chanced to get it into his hands he would certainly drive them all out of doors, notwithstanding all the resistance they could make”. And with that, the trial begun on April 9th, 1670.

Thomas was charged on accounts of Incest, Adultery and Bestiality, whilst Jean was found guilty of Sorcery, Witchcraft and conversing with a Familiar spirit. Unsure why, despite his confession, Thomas wasn’t also charged with Witchcraft… “Strangl’d at a Stake between Edinburgh and Leith on Monday following, the 11th of April, and his Body to be Burned to Ashes” was to be Thomas’ punishment, whilst Jean was to be “hanged on the Tuesday morning in the Grassmarket of Edinburgh”. After being encouraged to repent for his many, many sins, Thomas refused, stating: “Let me alone, I will not. I have lived as a beast, and I must die as a beast.”

He was dutifully strangled, and his body burnt alongside his black staff, which supposedly writhed in pain before giving in to the flames. Jean, after hanging, was buried with the ashes of her brother at Shrub Hill, off Leith Walk, near where Pilrig Street in current times. It seems odd that Thomas and Jean, going undetected for so long, decided to finally come clean about their wrongdoings. Given how awful the punishment was for Witchcraft, it seems slightly masochistic to bring that upon themselves with their confession.

Legend has it that if you pass by Thomas’ old area of reign in Edinburgh today, you may hear the ghostly whispers of Weir himself…